What is love?


I’m going to get real philosophical here so be prepared to be somewhat offended.

First and foremost, I’m going to make an outright declaration and say that I don’t believe in romantic love. Romantic love does not exist as far as I’m concerned. When it comes to romance, the feeling we call ‘love’ is actually an accumulation of chemicals in our bodies that create a euphoric feeling and distort judgement enough to cause one to believe that they are in ‘love’. These chemicals heighten or create emotions to foster the illusion of romantic ‘love’.
As for other types of love like love for our families and friends- I think that that feeling is actually an accumulation of feelings of loyalty and trust that we feel need to be returned. When this trust is betrayed then the feelings dissolve and as far as I’ve been told, ‘love’ cannot be dissolved. for example, if my mother was a horrible person who treated me with the utmost cruelty and betrayed my trust completely then I would have no ‘love’ for her. Alas, my mother is a good, honest and hard working person whom I have trusted my life to and she had made sure of my well being. My obligation is to return my mother’s goodwill and make sure that I am loyal and trustworthy to her.
Know that I make no real distinction between blood relatives and friends- it’s all about loyalty and trust to me. If I have to believe in love then I define it simply as loyalty and trust in the case of family and friends. Meanwhile, romantic love is nothing but raging hormones combined with feelings of loyalty and trust. So when I say ‘I love you’ I mean that I’ll be loyal to you and I trust you.
Now for the educational bit of this article.
Love as defined by dictionary.com is…

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7. sexual intercourse; copulation.
8. (initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one’s neighbor.
10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11. the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12. the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13. Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.

Now as you see, the word ‘love’ has a very broad definition. It’s generally used as an umbrella term to describe a strong feeling towards something. It’s broadness is what makes it very hard to define. Even when compared to other emotions like anger or sadness, it is still the hardest emotion to define due to this broadness. So we have to narrow love down to four different types of love. We have the erotic, platonic, familial and romantic types of love.
Erotic love is, basically put- getting horny. Example- you see someone on the street, you like them, they look attractive and you just want to fuck them silly. I define this not as love but Lust. I don’t think that this should even be called a type of ‘love’ since most of the feelings in this type of ‘love’ are caused by chemical reactions in our bodies. Monkey see, monkey like, monkey do.
Platonic love is, where you are really close to someone but you don’t do stuff with them. This kind of love is a very spiritual love where acts of the sexual nature do not occur but they know that the love is there.
Familial love is the type of love I am an advocate of. Familial love is a type affinity or natural affection felt between members of a group bound by common ancestry or blood ties, or through friendship and care. Familial love can also be experienced through kindhearted teachers to their students too. The cultural ideal of familial love is one that is committed, unconditional, selfless, emotionally full, and reciprocally returned by the other.  This kind of love is the love I know and understand.
Finally there’s Romantic Love, this type of love is basically a mix of strong emotional and sexual desire for another person. So if you take erotic love and combine it with the idea of Platonic love, you’ll most likely get romantic love. You have the spiritual aspect of platonic while you have the physical aspect of erotic to make romance. My problem with this type of love is that in most modern interpretations of this type of love, you can only fall in ‘love’ with one person at a time but I can’t believe that since you can achieve platonic love with someone else and it only takes a small push to lean into the erotic zone from there. Argue with me please. When in the erotic zone your mind is addled with chemicals like testosterone, estrogen,dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin. All of which effectively slice judgement to bits. Personally, if you think that you are in this kind of ‘love’ then you’re probably just high on all of these chemicals. I’m not denying the platonic feelings you may have for a person but know that this kind of love can probably be achieved with anyone once the chemicals come into play.
Anyways, that’s what I think love is. People- I hope you can, and I know you will, entertain me with your thoughts.
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6 thoughts on “What is love?

  1. What do I think love is?
    baby don’t hurt me no more! Na just kidding but I think love is basically what you said as well, loyalty and trust. I hate how all these corporations stick us with all this lovey valentine crap and shitty romantic movies when they don’t get what love is themselves.

  2. The ideas are there but they come across in this article as a little murky. It’s a good thought, but possibly going into a bit more of research (besides just the definition of love) would make your articles much stronger and more compelling.

    If you’re really into this sort of thing, I highly suggest you look into Social Psychology.

    Many of the thoughts in this article seem to echo that of Robert Sternberg, a psychologist who came up with the “Triangular Theory of Love” you may find interesting… while not the best source, there is a wiki that sums it up here if you are interested:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love

    Cheers.

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