Flirting for dummies pt 1

Here at The Infection we all know how hard it is for some people to approach members of the opposite or same sex for reasons that may lead to relations of the sexual nature. This month one of our missions is to help people in that position. If you are a person who finds it hard to approach someone you like then you are now enrolled in The Infected school of Love!

To begin today’s lecture we will be talking about the art of preparing for the approach. I, Poison, will be your teacher for today and will be teaching you my personal tips for how to prepare to approach someone. Before I get into the lecture please know that these tips are only a guideline. Once finished with our lessons we encourage you to go out and test these techniques then refine your own. Everyone has their own ‘style’ that takes time and practice to refine….that is unless you are a total sexy piece of ass, but if you’re reading this then you’re probably not because people would approach you before you think about it.

Not to say that you’re ugly if you’re reading this but you’re on the average level with the rest of us.

Part 1- The attire

This is the most basic of the basic. Before you even dare approach someone you had better make sure you are in a presentable state. A presentable state doesn’t mean you have to be in your best clothing and have your hair done perfectly or anything like that. I mean you need to be clean – bathe, brushed teeth, combed hair if you have hair, clean clothes, and clean shaven if that’s your thing. Oh yes…DO NOT BATHE YOURSELF IN AXE OR COLOGNE OR PERFUME! If you must then please be very moderate and if you really need to smell nice then use a scented soap in the shower and a fragranced lotion. They’re much less harsh on the senses while achieving the nice clean smell.

After making sure that your body is in good shape for ‘the approach’ you need to make sure that the attire is in good taste. Depending on your personal style what’s in good taste can vary. I like to take a very neutral approach to style when I can and find that this works for most situations I’m in since it’s never in disagreement with anyone.

1) 1) Wear jeans. Non- faded. Preferable black or blue. Not too baggy but not too tight. Wear a belt.

Jeans will never go out of style and neither will black or blue. They are timeless. This can work in your favor. You don’t need to have designer brand jeans; I like to have plain black jeans. If someone decides to bash you for the fact that your jeans aren’t designer of some sort and they’re too plain then they’re not worth your time. Only someone really shallow would take a kick at you for wearing plain jeans. Also, wear a belt, a nice belt. It doesn’t have to be a stunning designer belt but a belt completes an outfit even when not seen. If you want the belt to be seen then make sure that it matches with everything else you’re wearing and that it’s not too big. Big belts are distracting and if you have on a big ugly belt then it could kill your whole performance. The belt isn’t a must do, it’s optional but know that it should be in uniform with the rest of your style.

2) 2) Stick to long sleeve shirts (thin ones in the summer, sweaters in the winter). Nothing too offensive on the shirt. Not too revealing.

This is totally personal preference. I say stick to long sleeves since I lack muscle to show off so I’ll hide it underneath a nice shirt. If you have flabby arms, hairy arms or something to hide on your arms then the long sleeve is the way to go. Plus when approaching someone for the first time you don’t know their preference so you’re best off going with the long sleeve to cover up stuff like tattoos or scars and whatnot. You never know how someone will react.

For the guys, if you’ve got the manly arms then show em off. Tattoos are also a cool thing to have to show off. They show personality and personally, I think that they can make up for a lack of muscle since they make great conversation pieces. On the downside, some people are turned off by tattoos since they can make you look thuggish. First impressions are everything here so it’s advisable to not show em off.

For the girls, long or short sleeve doesn’t matter for you- guys don’t pay much mind to the arms on a girl. Our minds are in a more ‘problematic’ area in most scenarios. Just like guys, if you’ve got a cool tattoo on your arm then show it, once again it’s a great conversation piece.

Now, as for what’s on the shirt. You can go with a popular designer name but the choice of designer can tell a lot about you so don’t choose blindly. Also, with a popular designer you have the chance of being caught in a fake and although it’s something that can be laughed off with some people, you want to avoid the situation altogether. You can go with the simple blank shirt or sweater but that’s boring, you should tell the person you’re approaching a little about yourself without saying anything and a shirt with a nice message is the way to do it. Shirts with tasteless jokes like ‘I’m with stupid’ and the shirt with the one arrow pointing to your face saying ‘the man’ and another arrow pointing down to your cock saying ‘the legend’…please burn them. They’re funny to look at but not cool to buy and wear in public. The brand of shirt I like to buy recently is usually from Barefox, each of their shirts have an interesting design and a saying about hip hop. I’m not afraid to admit that I like hip hop to people but I’m also into their shirts for the art aspect of it. All in all, make sure your shirt isn’t sprouting with profanities or something that a lot of people would find offensive or tasteless but make sure that it’s true to your own style.

Finally, we have the revealing aspect. This part is mostly for the female portion of the class. There are few men that I know around and about that can walk outside topless and look good. Since you’ve read this far I’m going to assume that none of the men reading are in that category so…Keep your damn shirt on! If you’ve got a hairy chest…hide it. Most people don’t like body hair and even if they do it’s nicer to other people around that you don’t show off your body hair…this goes to both men and women. Yes, I’ve met women with hairy chests.

Now for the ladies- revealing tops can be an advantage and a disadvantage depending on what you’re trying to achieve. If you want to rope a man in quickly then you can go right ahead and show all. I can effectively confirm that the heterosexual male attention span is well cut down when presented with the appearance of a nice bust. This can work very well if you’re not looking for the man’s personality but for someone to fuck. Personally, I think that’s a cheap shot but hell, I can’t argue with using what god gave ya. Maintain a neutral tone with a long sleeve shirt that doesn’t reveal much, this is great if you want to hold the male attention span on you and not what’s going on under your shirt. Make sure the shirt isn’t too tight, it tends to accentuate things a bit and cause some imaginations to wander but this is dependent on the taste of the man you’re approaching. See through/thin tops are also in the same category as the busty top, everything is seen and it leaves no room for imagination for the person you’re approaching, this is best worn when trying to achieve something quickly. If you want to wear a t-shirt then make sure that it’s very casual, non-offensive and not paper thin.

3) 3) Somewhat clean shoes. Preferably sneakers. Converse brand is the best.

This is the final piece of the attire. Clean shoes are a given but we’re busy people and it’s hard to keep our shoes always looking spiffy and clean and whatnot. Before you go out, just give the ol sneakers a wipe with a damp cloth to get a layer of dirt off the top. If you do this every day then I can guarantee that you’ll be able to go a pretty long time without seriously having to wash your sneakers. Also, it’s a great way to extend the life of your shoes. To be completely honest- I rarely do this myself but it helps to have clean looking shoes.

Second, sneakers will always be cool. If they’re black then you’re in business. Nobody can really ever bash black sneakers. Black basketball sneakers, running shoes, anything…they always work and they hide dirt really well if you’re lazy like me and don’t bother to give your shoes that wipe every morning.

Third, this is totally opinion but Converse shoes are the best. Their sneakers look good even after being beaten up. Just one wipe with your damp cloth at any given time can bring a pair of converse shoes back to a presentable state. I’ve had a pair of converse weapons that have lasted me through all four seasons in Canada, 365 days straight…since I was in 11th grade and I’m in college now! The only reason I can’t wear them anymore is because they’re just too small. But I keep them to remind me of the fact that they are the greatest brand of shoe ever. Not only can they survive nuclear fallout along with the cockroaches but they have a timeless appeal. Converse has a style of sneaker for everyone at anytime; from rocker to rapper they will have something for you that look good. You might have your preference for shoe but if you want to look good and stay on the neutral side then converse is the brand for you. They’re simple and cool sneakers.

Now that you’ve got your attire all set up, you are ready to go and try to talk to this person that has interested you. And even if you aren’t interested in someone at the moment, by following these steps you are guaranteed to have someone at least approach you sometime. That concludes lesson 1. Next week come back for lesson two and the initiation of the conversation. We will guide you through a step by step approach to talking to someone you are interested, the exchange of contact information and contacting this person.

Thank you all, entertain me with your thoughts.

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