Next up we have Lionel Heart’s romance playlist. His picks are songs guaranteed to get people in the mood to both canoodle or caress and fondle. So here are his top ten love song picks of all time!
10) I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing – Aerosmith –> Like poison, my number 10 isn’t really a romance song. It’s Aerosmith, let’s be real they don’t do love songs, we know them for something like “Sweet Emotion”. So when I heard this in the movie Armageddon, I was thoroughly impressed because their tracks are usually more scratchy and loud.
9) Never Going to Give You up – Rick Astley –> “Never going to give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you” So I just rick rolled everyone who just read this. But more seriously at number 9, I think if a woman had a man say this to her and he meant it then lived up to the promise, he would become god because she will probably do anything you want. And look at how many people get Rick Rolled now.
8) In The Air Tonight – Phil Collins –> This song is from the 1980’s and to this day, people are still making remixes of it, that is how good it is.
7) Forever and Ever – Randy Travis –> This is for the older people out there who want to grow old with their significant other, and Randy Travis hits this one on the money.
5) Purple Rain – Prince –> And Prince wins. If you go back and watch Super Bowl XLI and watch the halftime show, Prince has got that field filled with people singing Purple Rain in the rain. I like this song, it is one of the song where you have to listen to the lyrics carefully to get this one.
4) How Do I Live – LeAnn Rimes –> I heard this in ConAir and have looked for this song and only recently found it. A slow subtle song, very, very romantic it’s almost sickening.
3) Is This Love – Bob Marley –> This is Bob Marley, if he did not make my list somewhere I would have had to kill someone. It’s a nice beat, something you listen to when you are alone with your significant other, and you are relaxing.
2) Red Wine – UB40 –> This is Red Wine, I think that is enough of an explanation.
1)Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden –> I am pretty sure if you asked any female to name a romantic song to make their list of top 5 romance songs, every single one of them will put this song on that list I guarantee. This makes my #1 spot because it has a nice beat, excellent rhythm, the vocals are great, but more than anything else the lyrics, these have to be some of the best lyrics put together. I have been to so many weddings in my life and I am pretty sure I have heard this song at least fifty percent of the occasions and I know it’s been used as the first dance twice. This was also by far Savage Garden’s best song, ever.
And those are Lionel’s picks. Now it’s up to you, the people, to entertain us and tell us who’s got the better playlist so far. Is it Poison with his hard sexual sounds or is it Lionel with his smooth and romantic allure? Keep us entertained cause there’s more to come!
The members of The Infection have a bit of a problem on its hands. We can’t seem to decide which 10 songs rank at the top as the best love songs of all time. So we’ve decided to leave it to the people to decide which songs rank as their best of all time.
The first list we have up is Poison’s. His list is filled with passionate ballads as well as sexually charged funk that he believes will be able to bring any set of lovers close together. Lets see what his choices are beginning at…
Yes, I know this really isn’t a romance song but it can be romantic. If you’ve got that special someone that makes you want to enrich, enlighten and entertain then this song can be a love song. If you want to inspire someone to try harder, do more and love the world then this song is the song.I’ve never been a fan of R.Kelly and after his statutory rape issue I really don’t like him…I was also about 14 at the time and it really bothered me that a man like him, who can have any woman he wants, has to go after 14 year old girls that I could not get…he let me know that I wasn’t just competing against other guys in my school but against THE WORLD. Just be clear, I’ve never really cared about girls…I’m going off topic. This song is beautiful. Listen and you will know why it moves my soul to do good every time I hear it. *(for the record- I don’t HATE R.Kelly…he’s actually a guilty pleasure.I really liked ‘Trapped in the Closet’ and ‘Ignition remix’)*
This song gets the #9 spot because it’s catchy as hell. That’s not to say that a lot of the other songs that didn’t make my top 10 aren’t catchy but there is one thing that this song has that defines it from many songs in its genre to make it a competitor for the number one spot. The fact that nothing can kill the romantic mood with this song is what makes it worthy of the 9 spot. I can tell you that I have tried to create a scene where this song is playing but there’s nothing romantic happening and still the song persists. I’m sure most of you remember this song from the movie ‘She’s all that’ starring Freddie Prinze jr. I remember the summer this song came out…I had no tolerance for romance then and it annoyed me all the way to holy hell but now that I’ve matured, the song is impossible to kill since it’s been parodied and it lives. All in all, this song is immortal.
This song gets the #8 spot because it’s not as soppy as my number 9 pick or catchy for some people but for me it’s got a certain deepness and the vocals on this, I love. To get this song you’ve really gotta listen to the lyrics. When you do listen to and get the lyrics there will be ALOT of arguments sparked up for my putting this at number 8. In total, this song got this spot because of sheer power. The vocals and lyrics are perfect together.
Bob Marley, the father of Reggae music. His style and sound are perfect for setting that mellow mood that I know that lovers tend to enjoy. This song is perfect for telling someone those three simple words without saying them. A smooth sensual and relaxing song is what this is, nothing dirty or vulgar about it. It’s a great listen for mom, pop and the whole family. In total, this is a great song very much worthy of number 7 on my list.
If you don’t know this song then god damns you to hell. This is for all the guys and since I’m a guy it makes perfect sense to put it in my top ten list of songs. This song is for any guy who has a girl and is just smitten with her. We’ve all sung it or heard it before unless we live under a rock. If you think of this special girl and she makes you feel all the shit described in this song then she is fucking awesome. I’ve never felt the way The Temptations describe love but damn does it sound good.
I’m not a fan of sopping wet and dripping romance but if it were not for Whitney’s powerful voice in this I would never ever place this anywhere near the top 5 on my list. If you want to yell out on top of a mountain that you love someone in this world then this is the song to do it. They can’t mistake it for anything else; the message is clear and powerful. The song starts off nice and slow, light and mellow but as it goes on it becomes like approaching a brick wall of love. If I can compare Whitney to anything in this song, her voice is like the ocean. The longer you listen, the further out from shore you get until you’re hitting the 50-foot tidal waves of love. If you watch cartoons you’ve probably seen this song parodied over and over again to death. If you go to a wedding, 8/10 times you will hear it or someone will cover it. The song speaks for itself.
This is where my true nature begins to surface. At this point of the list is where all my songs begin to turn to a more sexual theme. Yes it’s good and all to love someone but those are only words. Its actions that speak louder than words and to ‘make love’ to someone and not just have sex with them is something important. To ‘make love’ to someone you need to be really high on the love chemicals to make yourself oozy and gooey down in those happy parts. This song here is one of those songs to set the mood right for exactly that kind of occasion. The only downfall this song has for me is that it’s too corny, mushiness kills the mood for me, but then I’m just a horny boy so a dirty rap song is all I need to get going.
This song is so bad ass that it got its own wiki page. It’s been rerecorded so many times that even if you don’t like the version I like, you’ll probably have a version that you do like and didn’t know it before now. I’m always going to be a fan of the original and Percy did it right in this song. I like this not for the romantic quality of it but for the truth in it. I’ve seen men in love and they will take shit from their girls that no other woman could have ever done to them. In a way I’ll admit that I’m afraid to fall in love because I might end up being someone’s bitch…I would rather be beaten into submission. Percy spoke the truth when he sang this and I’ve been witness to it. It reminds me to keep my head on at all times…even though I forget it sometimes.
Ok, this song gets into the number 2 spot because it’s just damned deep. First I really love the flow of it; the sound is perfect as well as the vocals. I can say a lot in a powerful way with a soft yet masculine voice. Other than the sound, what got me are the lyrics on this song. These lyrics are just great, it wasn’t until recently that I knew the name of the damn song but I did know the chorus. The chorus is one that gets stuck in your head and if you don’t know it then you’ve been in some hell without entertainment for the last 10 years. I’m no Savage Garden fan, I don’t listen to their songs nor know them but this is the first song of theirs that I would willingly buy legally. This song can tell so much to someone you care about and so eloquently that you can’t help but be moved hearing it. Not only is it good for setting a mood or sending a message but it’s also a good listen
Although the previous song was probably more romantic if you are a romantic, this song is more for people like me who are horny as hell. It’s the perfect way to say ‘I wanna fuck like a rabid wild tiger with rabies’ without actually saying it. It definitely sets the mood right and it’s a great listen. I love the whole funk and soul vibe of it. Also, I feel this song more because It’s not the instruments that really hold the song together but it’s the vocals and the singer. Marvin Gaye just seems to have put his heart into this piece. He speaks for every man who’s ever felt like they loved someone and want to just become one with them or whatever. Wrong or right, day or night, you just want to be inside them. So this song makes number 1 as my greatest love song of all time.
And those are Poison’s picks. Remember y’all keep us entertained with your thoughts.
Lionel Heart back again this time not to aim for anybody’s head(I have a wicked shot), just to give pointers, I have a very diverse background so I have seen the spectrum; Without further a due: Flirting for Dummies Part 1: Lionel Heart Edition
The best place to start is attire and presentation. How you outfit yourself is key, before they know you, they are going to look at how the product is packaged, you are not going to buy an open, busted box of cereal, are you?. Start with knowing what situation you are in, there are three types: i)formal(weddings, conservative situation [i.e. conventions, dinner], prom[yes it is formal, you have three forks for a reason]) ii)semi-formal(clubbing, interviews, dinner) iii)casual(BBQ, house parties)
i) Formal outfitting. Gents: The name describes itself and there is very little to no leeway with presentation. Suit, tie, dress shoes very simple. Want to look classier, tie pin works wonders. Want to put the ‘cherry-on-top’ so to speak; cuff links. Remember, formal, you have got to think classy so shirt tucked it, belt on, pants at your waist, but the suit jacket does not need to be buttoned up all the way, that is the only leeway. Hair remember formal so neat is the key, not greased though. A clean look is good, some facial hair is fine, if you have religious reasons that is fine, for those of us who don’t clean that dirt up. Get a line up or go clean shaved, whatever works for you. Jewelry, almost forgot this, nothing big and overbearing for all three situations, a nice watch, one or two rings and a chain, that’s about it.
Ladies: Depending on where you are varies, you have more range than guys because of the style the cuts and all the good stuff; so I will try to keep this as simple as possible. Dressy and classy is the key. Weddings, prom and the like go with a full length dress, straps or strapless is up to you, whatever style you prefer and accentuates you than take away. The style of the dress as well whatever style you prefer and accentuates you than takes away from you, you want to be noticed. Show some skin, but not too much, cleavage is the same, you want the guy to notice you; you have to find that balance which shows off enough of your body but leaves the imagination to work, and he still is paying attention to what you have to say, or else he may oogle you the whole time and your work counteracts the objective. Your hair: Go all out ladies, you know the drill, it’s formal and there is not a better opportunity to play and stylize your hair. Jewelry varies from person to person how much they like to wear; must-haves: Something at the neck and ears is a minimum, from there you can put more but not too much. NOTE: YOU ARE NOT THE NEW YEAR’S DAY BALL AT TIMES SQUARE NEW YORK! More conservative situations, Blouse with a blazer or camisole works for the top half, either skirt or pants for the bottom, watch the skirt length that is going to be key you can show a little leg but not too much. Hair keep it simple and conservative, sorry ladies but if you need tips look at Sarah Palin, she did the conservative look very well and professionally. Jewelry keep it at a minimum simple earrings can go a long way, again something at the neck.
ii) Semi-Formal outfitting. Gents: Basically Formal without the suit jacket, tie pin and cuff links; sport jacket(looks like a suit jacket but, does not look as formal, you can find this in different colors and materials) is cool though, leave it open. Still, presentation is key so a belt would be nice. The shirt is where you have more options you can go standard dress shirt or golf shirt, both work just don’t go polar opposite of your pants. Pants, again options are open dress pants or khakis, look at the style and colour as well, coordination helps. Finally footwear, no boots or running shoes, you have freedom with colour and style though. You don’t have to go all out with the hair, neat but you don’t have to be conservative, be a little liberal, work in a little gel, not too much. Again clean the facial hair up; the neater, the better, don’t have to go all out for this though; 5 o’clock shadow is nice nothing ridiculous though.
Ladies: Here you can go with a more ‘sexy’ look per se but not over bearing again like guys you have more leeway. Dresses can be shorter, more close fitting and the whole bit. Dont want to wear a dress, again a blouse works here, your skirt can be a bit shorter not by much and if you want to go with pants you don’t have to be as conservative, you can have them hug your figure much more. You have more freedom to work with your hair here. Jewelry, you can put on some more now, again not too much.
Ladies and Gents: If it is dinner with the in-laws go hybrid formal/semi-formal, don’t look too conservative but not too casual, find the right balance.
iii) Casual. Gents: Another downgrade but this is not dress down. Shirts: pretty much anything but a t-shirt works depending on where you are going; if you are at a friend’s it’s acceptable. Pants, you have free reign here, jeans or khakis work. For the summer go khakis they are more loose and they are thinner. The belt is optional, where it when it’s appropriate with you’re attire and nothing too flashy either, it will take away from you. Footwear you’ve got some free reign here as well, clean(obviously) and stylish; Timberland’s work wonders with jeans. Hair, I leave this one to you, you know what works for you; just keep it in place. Facial hair again go semi-formal, I think the next look would be homeless so, go with the semi-formal facial hair.
Ladies: Here you have freedom, Jeans and Halter tops finally make the cut here. Hair and Jewelry you’ve got freedom again. Know your limit, play within it.(Disclaimer: OLG made the slogan, I am just borrowing it)
General tips: Your cologne/perfume. Gents: NO AXE OR ANY SPRAYS WHICH CLAIM TO HELP!!!!!!! Light deodorant, then you give a light spray of something that is not overbearing but still can catch attention. Burberry, Givenchy, Hugo Boss are all light smelling but when you get close can have the effect you need. Eternity is classic, works for any situation.
Ladies: Nothing that’s smells like the perfume aisle at the department store. You want the guy to be attracted to you but looks only get you so far, up close the finer details are going to count, this is one of them. Chanel No 5, can’t name any others off the top of my head that work.
Ladies your make up: In general not too much some blush and eyeliner, either accentuating your clothing or skin tone or covering up your skin blemishes goes great in all three situations(formal, semi, casual).
So you look half decent now, you see someone you want to approach or someone is approaching you, what do you do? You read next weeks lesson: The approach, the conversation, the closer.
Here at The Infection we all know how hard it is for some people to approach members of the opposite or same sex for reasons that may lead to relations of the sexual nature.This month one of our missions is to help people in that position.If you are a person who finds it hard to approach someone you like then you are now enrolled in The Infected school of Love!
To begin today’s lecture we will be talking about the art of preparing for the approach. I, Poison, will be your teacher for today and will be teaching you my personal tips for how to prepare to approach someone.Before I get into the lecture please know that these tips are only a guideline. Once finished with our lessons we encourage you to go out and test these techniques then refine your own. Everyone has their own ‘style’ that takes time and practice to refine….that is unless you are a total sexy piece of ass, but if you’re reading this then you’re probably not because people would approach you before you think about it.
Not to say that you’re ugly if you’re reading this but you’re on the average level with the rest of us.
Part 1- The attire
This is the most basic of the basic. Before you even dare approach someone you had better make sure you are in a presentable state. A presentable state doesn’t mean you have to be in your best clothing and have your hair done perfectly or anything like that. I mean you need to be clean – bathe, brushed teeth, combed hair if you have hair, clean clothes, and clean shaven if that’s your thing. Oh yes…DO NOT BATHE YOURSELF IN AXE OR COLOGNE OR PERFUME! If you must then please be very moderate and if you really need to smell nice then use a scented soap in the shower and a fragranced lotion. They’re much less harsh on the senses while achieving the nice clean smell.
After making sure that your body is in good shape for ‘the approach’ you need to make sure that the attire is in good taste. Depending on your personal style what’s in good taste can vary. I like to take a very neutral approach to style when I can and find that this works for most situations I’m in since it’s never in disagreement with anyone.
1)1) Wear jeans. Non- faded. Preferable black or blue. Not too baggy but not too tight. Wear a belt.
Jeans will never go out of style and neither will black or blue. They are timeless. This can work in your favor. You don’t need to have designer brand jeans; I like to have plain black jeans. If someone decides to bash you for the fact that your jeans aren’t designer of some sort and they’re too plain then they’re not worth your time. Only someone really shallow would take a kick at you for wearing plain jeans. Also, wear a belt, a nice belt. It doesn’t have to be a stunning designer belt but a belt completes an outfit even when not seen. If you want the belt to be seen then make sure that it matches with everything else you’re wearing and that it’s not too big. Big belts are distracting and if you have on a big ugly belt then it could kill your whole performance. The belt isn’t a must do, it’s optional but know that it should be in uniform with the rest of your style.
2) 2) Stick to long sleeve shirts (thin ones in the summer, sweaters in the winter). Nothing too offensive on the shirt. Not too revealing.
This is totally personal preference. I say stick to long sleeves since I lack muscle to show off so I’ll hide it underneath a nice shirt. If you have flabby arms, hairy arms or something to hide on your arms then the long sleeve is the way to go. Plus when approaching someone for the first time you don’t know their preference so you’re best off going with the long sleeve to cover up stuff like tattoos or scars and whatnot.You never know how someone will react.
For the guys, if you’ve got the manly arms then show em off. Tattoos are also a cool thing to have to show off. They show personality and personally, I think that they can make up for a lack of muscle since they make great conversation pieces. On the downside, some people are turned off by tattoos since they can make you look thuggish. First impressions are everything here so it’s advisable to not show em off.
For the girls, long or short sleeve doesn’t matter for you- guys don’t pay much mind to the arms on a girl. Our minds are in a more ‘problematic’ area in most scenarios. Just like guys, if you’ve got a cool tattoo on your arm then show it, once again it’s a great conversation piece.
Now, as for what’s on the shirt. You can go with a popular designer name but the choice of designer can tell a lot about you so don’t choose blindly. Also, with a popular designer you have the chance of being caught in a fake and although it’s something that can be laughed off with some people, you want to avoid the situation altogether. You can go with the simple blank shirt or sweater but that’s boring, you should tell the person you’re approaching a little about yourself without saying anything and a shirt with a nice message is the way to do it. Shirts with tasteless jokes like ‘I’m with stupid’ and the shirt with the one arrow pointing to your face saying ‘the man’ and another arrow pointing down to your cock saying ‘the legend’…please burn them. They’re funny to look at but not cool to buy and wear in public.The brand of shirt I like to buy recently is usually from Barefox, each of their shirts have an interesting design and a saying about hip hop. I’m not afraid to admit that I like hip hop to people but I’m also into their shirts for the art aspect of it. All in all, make sure your shirt isn’t sprouting with profanities or something that a lot of people would find offensive or tasteless but make sure that it’s true to your own style.
Finally, we have the revealing aspect. This part is mostly for the female portion of the class. There are few men that I know around and about that can walk outside topless and look good. Since you’ve read this far I’m going to assume that none of the men reading are in that category so…Keep your damn shirt on! If you’ve got a hairy chest…hide it. Most people don’t like body hair and even if they do it’s nicer to other people around that you don’t show off your body hair…this goes to both men and women. Yes, I’ve met women with hairy chests.
Now for the ladies- revealing tops can be an advantage and a disadvantage depending on what you’re trying to achieve. If you want to rope a man in quickly then you can go right ahead and show all. I can effectively confirm that the heterosexual male attention span is well cut down when presented with the appearance of a nice bust. This can work very well if you’re not looking for the man’s personality but for someone to fuck. Personally, I think that’s a cheap shot but hell, I can’t argue with using what god gave ya. Maintain a neutral tone with a long sleeve shirt that doesn’t reveal much, this is great if you want to hold the male attention span on you and not what’s going on under your shirt. Make sure the shirt isn’t too tight, it tends to accentuate things a bit and cause some imaginations to wander but this is dependent on the taste of the man you’re approaching. See through/thin tops are also in the same category as the busty top, everything is seen and it leaves no room for imagination for the person you’re approaching, this is best worn when trying to achieve something quickly. If you want to wear a t-shirt then make sure that it’s very casual, non-offensive and not paper thin.
3) 3) Somewhat clean shoes. Preferably sneakers. Converse brand is the best.
This is the final piece of the attire. Clean shoes are a given but we’re busy people and it’s hard to keep our shoes always looking spiffy and clean and whatnot. Before you go out, just give the ol sneakers a wipe with a damp cloth to get a layer of dirt off the top. If you do this every day then I can guarantee that you’ll be able to go a pretty long time without seriously having to wash your sneakers. Also, it’s a great way to extend the life of your shoes. To be completely honest- I rarely do this myself but it helps to have clean looking shoes.
Second, sneakers will always be cool. If they’re black then you’re in business. Nobody can really ever bash black sneakers. Black basketball sneakers, running shoes, anything…they always work and they hide dirt really well if you’re lazy like me and don’t bother to give your shoes that wipe every morning.
Third, this is totally opinion but Converse shoes are the best. Their sneakers look good even after being beaten up. Just one wipe with your damp cloth at any given time can bring a pair of converse shoes back to a presentable state. I’ve had a pair of converse weapons that have lasted me through all four seasons in Canada, 365 days straight…since I was in 11th grade and I’m in college now! The only reason I can’t wear them anymore is because they’re just too small. But I keep them to remind me of the fact that they are the greatest brand of shoe ever. Not only can they survive nuclear fallout along with the cockroaches but they have a timeless appeal. Converse has a style of sneaker for everyone at anytime; from rocker to rapper they will have something for you that look good. You might have your preference for shoe but if you want to look good and stay on the neutral side then converse is the brand for you. They’re simple and cool sneakers.
Now that you’ve got your attire all set up, you are ready to go and try to talk to this person that has interested you. And even if you aren’t interested in someone at the moment, by following these steps you are guaranteed to have someone at least approach you sometime.That concludes lesson 1. Next week come back for lesson two and the initiation of the conversation. We will guide you through a step by step approach to talking to someone you are interested, the exchange of contact information and contacting this person.
Anyways…that brought my thoughts to the question of “what do you really like about him/her?”.
To date (not ‘date’ like go out with but calendar date) in my life I’ve met 5 women that I can say I’ve thought that I ‘liked’. After meeting them all I sit and wonder what did I like about them? I could go over all of them and tell about them but I’ll leave that for my personal pages. Here at the Infection I plan to talk to you all about liking someone.
Most of us out there have met someone at least once who gives us a bit of a tingly feeling (that’s part of the high) and if you haven’t then you will meet someone. When we meet this person we court them without thinking and possibly end up in a relationship with them then…things fall apart, sometimes. When things fall apart, most people I know are prone to go into a state of self reflection.When in self reflection about the relationship, they realize why they liked the person and what was wrong with the person (this is coming off the high or withdrawal)
The problem here is that people don’t think before they act. Some people rush into ‘romance’ and come out of it hurting. Why? This is because they never sat and thought out of good reasons why they liked the person. Sometimes they could only like the person based on looks and not know it. This is not a good way to start a relationship.
I know it’s hard to think properly when you’re high but that’s what friends are for. If you are a friend reading this and you have a friend who is supposedly in ‘love’ or ‘high’ with someone then please ask them for reasons why they like the person. We’re all entitled to our free choices but it would be a better world if we made free and informed choices.
Inform people of the flaws of the person they are looking at. Inform people of the things that they may be seeing that are not really there. When in ‘love’ the imagination fills in gaps for what’s not there that our unconscious mind desires. Oh boy does your imagination work well when you’re high!
All in all, the fact is that we need to think before we act. When in ‘love’ we are doped up on so many chemicals that it’s no big surprise that we’re willing to go off and do something without thinking. I’m not saying that ‘love’ can be used as an excuse for things like murder etc. but we have to be sure to exercise caution when we’re in this state of being.
Here at The infection we value the formation of close interpersonal relationships. By coming together we are able to better understand each other and ourselves.
That being said, today we’re going to have a healthy chat about maintaining a relationship.
Since I have never been in a real relationship myself I’ve called in a trustworthy authority to speak on relationships.
In with us is our local love doctor >N@T3< a.k.a. Hitch and he’s managed to make some time out of his busy schedule to talk a little with us about how to maintain a healthy relationship.
How ya’ll doin’ folks this is your boy here >N@T3< a.k.a. Hitch on The Infection. Now I’ve been asked to do give every one here a little background information on how to maintain a good relationship.
Now if you ask me a relationship is a great thing to have but once you have it just like a car it needs maintenance, and no matter what it will always need fuel to keep it going for years on end.Now I’m the type of guy that has experience when it comes to long-term relationships so if you’ve never been able to keep a relation ship for more than a couple months then I guess at this point I’m your knight in shining armor.
Well where the hell should I start? Let’s take a look at things about a month in a relationship because most people make it that far. Without a doubt the first month is what really sets the stage for someone to decide if they want to continue on in a relationship.
In the space of the first month both partners need to look into what they want out of the relationship. If your reasons are shit then the relationship is going to be shit. Reasons like money, sex or just wanting to have a partner for the sake of saying you have one is a one way trip to a no good relationship.
Next, the first month is where you both will find out each other’s boundaries. It’s a little different from when you two were just ‘friends’. Now you’ll probably see each other more often than before and when you hang out with someone more then you learn more about them. In the first month you will both learn some surprising little facts about them that they didn’t open up to you before. It’s a privilege that comes with a cost…sure you learn more about your partner but then you tend to get more annoyed with them as well.
On the issue of being annoyed…learn about space early. The couples that are always seen together and holding hands and never leaving each other even to shit are the ones that just never seem to last? I wonder why? It’s because they eventually get annoyed with each other! We all need space and if you learn not to suffocate each other in the first bit then you’ll survive the next little bit.
Now as time goes on you might see that your relationship that began spicy and hot with you both learning more about each other and hopefully liking each other more…got a bit cold and mundane. Spontaneity is your friend.Get well acquainted. Every now and then just get up and take that special person somewhere, make em feel like every day is their birthday. Beware- don’t overdo it though because then you run the risk of spoiling your partner. Nobody likes a spoiled brat.
Speaking of spoiled brats…there will be the inevitable time where all or at least one conversation will degenerate into childish argument. This could either signal a time for strengthening in the relationship or the end of the whole gig. You can strengthen the relationship by…
1)Remaining calm. Show your partner that you have the ability to be level headed and composed.
2)Just listen. Even if you may be right you just need to listen- it helps so much to just listen.
I understand that, in theory, those two steps are easy to follow but in application I understand that it’s hard sometimes to not do the opposite. We all get angry sometimes but remember that you have to keep in control.
Finally, as time goes on, your relationship may advance all the way one of a sexual nature. If you wish to be involved in a mature relationship then know that you should both be completely sure of each other before proceeding to sex. Another thing, this is for both guys and gals- carry protection. Condoms etc. are useful to have even if you’re not active you then can have some on hand in case someone you know is getting active and they need some. That and know that shit can still ‘just happen’ in any kind of relationship so it’s better to be prepared for a war that never happens than to be caught off guard when it does happen.
In total, this is how to maintain a good relationship
I’m going to get real philosophical here so be prepared to be somewhat offended.
First and foremost, I’m going to make an outright declaration and say that I don’t believe in romantic love. Romantic love does not exist as far as I’m concerned. When it comes to romance, the feeling we call ‘love’ is actually an accumulation of chemicals in our bodies that create a euphoric feeling and distort judgement enough to cause one to believe that they are in ‘love’. These chemicals heighten or create emotions to foster the illusion of romantic ‘love’.
As for other types of love like love for our families and friends- I think that that feeling is actually an accumulation of feelings of loyalty and trust that we feel need to be returned. When this trust is betrayed then the feelings dissolve and as far as I’ve been told, ‘love’ cannot be dissolved. for example, if my mother was a horrible person who treated me with the utmost cruelty and betrayed my trust completely then I would have no ‘love’ for her. Alas, my mother is a good, honest and hard working person whom I have trusted my life to and she had made sure of my well being. My obligation is to return my mother’s goodwill and make sure that I am loyal and trustworthy to her.
Know that I make no real distinction between blood relatives and friends- it’s all about loyalty and trust to me. If I have to believe in love then I define it simply as loyalty and trust in the case of family and friends. Meanwhile, romantic love is nothing but raging hormones combined with feelings of loyalty and trust. So when I say ‘I love you’ I mean that I’ll be loyal to you and I trust you.
Now for the educational bit of this article.
Love as defined by dictionary.com is…
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
sexual passion or desire.
a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
sexual intercourse; copulation.
(initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one’s neighbor.
strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.
Now as you see, the word ‘love’ has a very broad definition. It’s generally used as an umbrella term to describe a strong feeling towards something. It’s broadness is what makes it very hard to define. Even when compared to other emotions like anger or sadness, it is still the hardest emotion to define due to this broadness. So we have to narrow love down to four different types of love. We have the erotic, platonic, familial and romantic types of love.
Erotic love is, basically put- getting horny. Example- you see someone on the street, you like them, they look attractive and you just want to fuck them silly. I define this not as love but Lust. I don’t think that this should even be called a type of ‘love’ since most of the feelings in this type of ‘love’ are caused by chemical reactions in our bodies. Monkey see, monkey like, monkey do.
Platonic love is, where you are really close to someone but you don’t do stuff with them. This kind of love is a very spiritual love where acts of the sexual nature do not occur but they know that the love is there.
Familial love is the type of love I am an advocate of. Familial love is a type affinity or natural affection felt between members of a group bound by common ancestry or blood ties, or through friendship and care. Familial love can also be experienced through kindhearted teachers to their students too. The cultural ideal of familial love is one that is committed, unconditional, selfless, emotionally full, and reciprocally returned by the other. This kind of love is the love I know and understand.
Finally there’s Romantic Love, this type of love is basically a mix of strong emotional and sexual desire for another person. So if you take erotic love and combine it with the idea of Platonic love, you’ll most likely get romantic love. You have the spiritual aspect of platonic while you have the physical aspect of erotic to make romance. My problem with this type of love is that in most modern interpretations of this type of love, you can only fall in ‘love’ with one person at a time but I can’t believe that since you can achieve platonic love with someone else and it only takes a small push to lean into the erotic zone from there. Argue with me please. When in the erotic zone your mind is addled with chemicals like testosterone, estrogen,dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin. All of which effectively slice judgement to bits. Personally, if you think that you are in this kind of ‘love’ then you’re probably just high on all of these chemicals. I’m not denying the platonic feelings you may have for a person but know that this kind of love can probably be achieved with anyone once the chemicals come into play.
Anyways, that’s what I think love is. People- I hope you can, and I know you will, entertain me with your thoughts.
The focus for this month is love, relationships and sex. Yeah, that’s right, something I know you all worry about all the time. This month at The Infection we’re going to put everything out on the table and see what you, the people, have to say about these pressing issues.
Our aim, as usual, is to enrich, enlighten and entertain some good conversation about such a broad subject. Here at the Infection we’re going to push the limits and ask all the questions you were afraid to ask before.
In week 1 we’re going to cover issues like – ‘What is love?’, ‘How to maintain a good relationship’, ‘Flirting for dummies’
For week 2 we’re covering- ‘Valentines day special’, ‘Flirting for dummies part 2’, ‘The Infection top ten list of the best romance songs of all time’
Week 3-‘Open versus Closed relationships’, ‘Sex Sells- sex in the media’, ‘The real MANs perfect date’, ‘The real WOMANs perfect date’
And finally we’re going to close the month with discussions on -‘STD’s- getting tested and all that jazz’, ‘Kinky sex tips and fetishes 101’, ‘How to give a proper oral sexing’
Remember people, we wanna hear from you and how you feel about the issues. So keep us entertained this month because we know that we’ll be keeping things nice and hot for you here!
To kick off the month, ‘What is love’ by Haddaway! Entertain me!
So here we are at the end of our first month and the beginning of our second month. My my how time flies when you’re having fun.
To close The Infection special ‘Nigga!!!’ we want to put a highlight on world art. Here at The Infection we are avid supporters of the arts and know that each culture has a unique way of expressing itself. Through forms of dance, literature, visual arts and music all people express themselves and show their identity.
We’re going to be showcasing pieces of work that we find to be interesting from a cultural perspective and talking about some talented artists from all over the world.
First I’ll start by talking about artist Chris Ofili. I know of him for being famous for doing paintings made using Elephant dung. Yes, it’s true- he uses Elephant dung on the painting. A controversial painting I heard about from him was of his painting of the Virgin Mary in elephant shit. I personally laughed so hard when I heard about that but at the same time I can’t help but admire him. I admire the fact that he was willing to cross that boundary and create the work. From what I know, the catholic church was up in arms about it.
The next artist I want to talk about is Stanley Lau a.k.a Artgerm. He is one of my favourite artists of all time! His work MOVES MY SOUL. I cannot talk enough about his work and how much I wish I could create that kind of quality artwork. He is one of the founding members of Imaginary Friends Studios located in Singapore and since 2005 they have been working hard to show off Singapore’s rich pool of talent.
Another artist I want to put a spotlight on is Mos Def. A true positive hip hop artist. You’ve probably seen him in movies like 16 Blocks where he starred alongside Bruce Willis or you’ve heard his voice if you’ve watched the cartoon The Boondocks, where he has a recurring guest role as the character Gangstalicious. He’s also well known for his social and political views and activism. In total he is a great role model to artists everywhere who are trying to make their way to the big time.
Finally, the last artist I’m going to highlight is Aaron McGruder. By my standards this man is a genius. He rose to notoriety for his controversial comic The Boondocks that was adapted into a cartoon. If there is one thing I want to say about the man and not his work is that he is brave. The shit he says to certain people, alot of people would not have the balls to do.
Things like calling Condoleezza Rice a mass-murderer to her face. If there is someone I have to admire, it would be him alongside a long list of my favorite artists.
And that’s that for this month!
Thank you all for your continued support and please keep reading The Infection if you want to be enriched, enlightened and entertained!