Lionel Heart presents…The top ten cartoons of all time!

It’s been a while but here he is once again, The Infection’s very own Lionel Heart! This week he’s decided to take the floor and give you and all of his fans the essential Lionel Heart list of must watch cartoons!

1. Bugs Bunny and Tweety showBugs Bunny Gets my number one because as a child you don’t know the difference between anime and American cartoons but with that said, “Bugs Bunny and Tweety show” could go shot for shot with the best of them. Some of you may be looking at your monitor like I am on crack; sadly I don’t do that shit, but look at that cast of characters: Bugs Bunny, Tweety Bird, Daffy Duck, Marvin the Martian, Yosemite Sam, et all. I mean who didn’t think it was funny when Pepe tried to molest the cat, which he thought was a skunk which in the end tried to, and successfully, rape him. And I tell you boy, that chicken whose name I can never remember was always getting his ass handed to him. But if anything that makes this my number 1 it has to be that catchy line “Eh, what’s up doc?”.

2. Shin Kidō Senki Gundam Wing 新機動戦記ガンダムW Sunrise always can get the right political savvy with the right amount of action, these guys should be running the world and our news stations. “There is nothing more noble and beautiful than a warrior with no distractions. One could say he is the closest thing to God.” I think that would have been the greatest line ever until the response came “I don’t believe in god”. This series gave rise to many amazing quotes, amazing characters which became the new measuring stick, and amazing mobile suits. R.I.P. Treize Khushrenada .

3. Transformers – A giant planet for a final enemy and that weird noise they made when they transformed made this cartoon a hit. And it was awesome.

4. Rurouni Kenshin – For those who know me, know that this anime had to make my list somewhere and it comes in at number 4. This was a brilliant side story to actual history, it retold real events that actually happened accurately, from a different point of view, from a person who didn’t exist in history, but the accuracy and the precision that the events were retold was brilliant. Truly worthy of number 4.

5. Beast Wars – “Now that’s just prime!” This was an impressive cartoon made by CANADIANS! And gave cameos to many respectable characters from its predecessor (Starscream, Unicron, etc.) and also gave us new characters to love. “Megatron I give you one chance to surrender” “And I give you no chance at all!”

6. Gundam ガンダ1979 Mother Fuckers, that’s all that needs to be said. Yeah the art was crap, but this set the foundation for what would become the one of the longest going anime franchises and very successful series in history, week 3 I will write a piece to commemorate Gundam’s 30th birthday, which was in April.

7. Dragon Ball (Z)OVER 9000! This cartoon has give birth to one of the funniest and catchiest and probably the stupidest internet memes and was one of the first animes anyone one of us ever watched.

8. Sailor Moon – I am a closet pervert, there I said it. Other than the fact that this was probably the first anime I watched, I respect it for breaking me into a culture where really short skirts and lolis are the norm. Don’t know what a loli is; urban dictionary it.

9. X-MenAn old bald psychic/telekinetic for a leader, a dude who could shoot laser beams out of his eyes, an infinitely recovering wolf man and the rest of the circus made up this cast of superheroes who: came from comics, went to cartoons, had the cartoons remade, and now have full length feature movies, pretty good if you ask me.

10. Spider-Man – I wasn’t sure who should be unlucky enough to get number 10 so I just gave it to Spider-Man.

Honourable Mentions: Captain Planet, ThunderCats

Dishonourable Mentions: Love Hina, Gundam SEED (Destiny), and Most American cartoons

Mastercrap Theater #8 and 9 (double feature!!)

In this week’s thrilling installment the plot thickens as Etch is left to search for Sketch. His search takes him to A-Soul manor where he consults the help of Spectrum, G.K, Script X and Poison who seem to know more than meets the eye. So tune into this week’s thrilling installment of…Snowflake!

Snowflake: Chapter 8

“It looks like we’re nearing the end of this whole situation with Sforza” said Poison.

“That was random” said G.K.

They were both standing in the backyard of the A-Soul mansion alone. This was strange for both of them since they were rarely together, not since A-Soul began. They were both standing by the fence and looking down at the snow covered city from their palace in the hills.

“Something is out of place” Said Poison

“You usually are right about these things, have you ever thought you were psychic?” asked G.K

“No, not really” replied Poison

Snow fell around them as they continued to look down on the city from their palace, and then Spectrum arrived silently.

“Yo!” said Spectrum

Both people were startled as Spectrum broke the silence between them.

“Don’t ever do that again!” said G.K as she gripped her heart

“What ever happened to that mob bosses daughter?” asked Poison

“You mean the one we kidnapped last year?” asked Spectrum

“Yeah, that one” said Poison

“We just let her go outside the city after we found out she was useless” said Spectrum

“You guys are so cruel to women” said G.K

“That’s not true…not for me anyways” said Spectrum as he went and held G.K in his arms

The three people stood in silence and once again looked down on the city, night was coming and lights were going on in the city and the palace behind them. Script then arrived and took place beside Poison.

“What you looking at Poison?” asked Script

“Nothing, just thinking…” he replied as he cleaned off the snow from his glasses and hair.

Poison was a tall, skinny young man. He wore an open chest black tuxedo shirt with a white dress shirt under it and black jeans; on his head he wore a white bandana with black shades and a thick black afro with twin streaks of grey at the front. Script was about the same height as Poison but had more muscle on him than his colleague, he wore a black open chest T-shirt with a white sweater under it and had black jeans to match it, he had semi-long messy black hair, just enough to make a small ponytail and amazing dark brown eyes that just stuck out on his light brown skin. Spectrum had much more muscle than his other two colleagues and wore a black football jersey that was custom made for A-Soul, over it he wore a stylish black leather jacket that had his second in command, G.K, in it with him, and he had dark brown skin and dark black spiked hair with white jeans. G.K was a dancer, she had long legs and a slender body, she was well toned and it could be seen in her simple but fashionable outfit which consisted of a white sweater, tight black jeans and a black scarf with matching black mittens, she had light brown skin and wore light green contact lenses that stuck out against her skin and black hair. They all stood in the yard and looked down at the lit up city in silence then Poison broke this silence.

“Sforza’s jewels are going to be complete soon and I wanna know what the local gangs are planning” said Poison

“They don’t want anything but the Cartel is planning something” said Spectrum

“And…” said Poison

“I think they have an inside man” Said Spectrum “we’ve got to lure them out quickly, from what I know, Sforza just got his last snowflake last night, when the jewel itself is complete we’ll be the first to know”

“If they have an inside man then we should be there now” said Script

“How true” said Poison with a grim voice

“So who did the old pervert choose for his last snowflake?” asked G.K

“I think it was Sketch” said Poison

Just as he said those words Etch came running into the yard to hear those words drop from Poison’s mouth.

Snowflake: Chapter 9

Sforza, with his snowflakes 3, would let them leave once he was done with them. He would let them be. All the snowflakes sat at his home, warm and cozy in front of his roaring fireplace while sipping on hot chocolate as a blizzard went on outside the windows. There was to be heavy snowfall tonight but they did not care, all 3 except one, one who felt like half of herself as she sat and barely touched her hot chocolate. The other two conversed and chatted idly as the one sat and stared off into space. The first snowflake had been a skinny and pale girl when she first arrived but as time passed she had grown and thickened up, her circumstances for being there were different from the other two, she simply had nowhere else to go. Her name was Michelle, she had long dyed black hair and deep green eyes like an endless forest, she had red freckles on her face that gave her a childlike look, she was wearing a bathrobe and sat in front of the fireplace sipping on hot chocolate and talking to the second snowflake. The second snowflake was the most stunning of all, with long silky black hair, bright brown eyes that were adorned by all and a flawless caramel brown skin. Her name was not known by members of A-Soul, she was only known by reputation as the dancing Dust. Right now she was also in a bathrobe chattering idly to Michelle and ignoring the third snowflake, as if she were never there at all and only her words mattered at the moment but her beauty caused people not to notice and time seemed to stop and collapse on itself in her presence. Why was this angel with an old man like Sforza? Who knows, but she was one of the reasons he wanted to live and she enjoyed the attention. The last snowflake, the lonely one, was known as Sketch, she was not overly pretty but she was not ugly either. She had long Silvery white hair and steely grey eyes, they were contact lenses. Her hair was now wavy and thick unlike her usual style of wearing it straight down and she had thin slender eyes that showed much thought was going on within her mind at the moment. Like the second snowflake she also had a caramel brown skin but somehow it failed in comparison to her. She was wearing a bathrobe as well and looked dismally into the fire, just thinking and thinking about her other half, her missing self, her Etch.

Meanwhile, at the A-Soul manor the founding members sat in the living room and all drank together while a young man, well built, was in the kitchen with Spectrum, the sound father of A-Soul. Spectrum was blending drinks in the blender while the young man sat and looked down at the kitchen counter where he sat. This young man was called Etch by his fellow members of A-Soul and he wore a black toque and white jeans with a white sweater under a black vest. Spectrum finished blending the drinks and poured Etch out a glass of his concoction.

“Here, drink this, you’ll feel a lot better” Said Spectrum as he offered the man the drink and put it on the counter for him to drink.

Etch obliged and drank it all in one shot.

“Hey man, what’s so wrong with Sforza’s place anyways? It’s just an old man, what’s so wrong about that? She’s probably got her reasons for leaving me alone with those girls to ditch me…” Said Etch in an unconvincing tone, trying to reassure him of why Sketch left him.

“Well I don’t know why she left you but why don’t you go and just see her if you know where she is?” asked Spectrum between drinks.

“I’ve only heard of Sforza by rep, I’ve never gone to see him” replied Etch as he took a long swallow of the drink.

Etch then got up and walked towards the living room where the others were drinking, leaving Spectrum all alone in the kitchen to make something to eat. Etch walked towards the living room and heard Poison talking loudly as he usually did.

“Yo, what you think Sforza does with all those g’s?” asked G.K

“I thought you knew, he need nude models for him for some reason” Said Poison

Etch then ran into the room and grabbed Poison by the collar.

“YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT MY GIRLFRIEND WOULD BE POSING NAKED FOR SOME OLD PERVERT!” yelled Etch

Spectrum then walked into the room with a sandwich in hand, to see Poison being near choked. Just as he was about to ask what was going on, Etch then barked an order into the now silent room.

“Listen, Spectrum, your taking that sandwich to go, we’re going to see the old man.”

Back at Sforza’s home, the first snowflake was up for sketching. One of the permanent residence students of Sforza walked into the room and she told Michelle that Sforza was ready for her. Sforza was not as much as a pervert as he appeared to be, he had kicked out all the male students that night in order to make sure that his models were comfortable, not a single male soul other than his own was allowed into the house that night. Michelle left the warmth of the fireplace and went to pay the old man back for his goodwill in the only way he had asked and she was prepared to do more if need be. She walked down into the basement of the house and saw the old man with his sketchpad and pencil, wearing thick glasses and ready to sketch her glory as she had nothing on around her, not even the radio.

Etch and the others were now racing down the highway towards Sforza’s home. The entire vehicle was silent except for the music. The heat in the car was on, but it was low, Etch’s anger made it seem higher as the vehicle went down the highway. It passed three exits and then made the fourth one then they made a left. G.K sat in the back of the car with Poison and Script. They were playing around in the back and currently she was braiding Script’s hair while Poison attempted to fondle her breasts but she slapped away his hand every time he tried to touch them. The only thought in her mind at the moment was

“Does he know that she went there on her own?”

In Sforza’s home the Second snowflake was up. Sforza did not spare a single detail as he drew her from joint to joint, vein all the way to vein. Sforza had special reasons for wanting these three young women in particular and they were simple reasons. The first snowflake reminded him of his mother and his childhood. The second snowflake reminded him of the first girl he lost his virginity to and his final step into maturity. Now he was done with the Second snowflake and it was time for the last snowflake, his one true love long lost. The thought of this last snowflake made his strength falter but he must not give up; he called for one of the students and asked for a glass of water. The student quickly came and he received his water, then he was on to the last one, his greatest work of all time.

A black sports car rolled to a stop in front of a very grand house. The car had black tint and dazzlingly bright headlights that threatened to bring about day. It was a simple car. The headlights went off and inside the vehicle sat 5 people. Poison and G.K had fallen asleep while Script was half awake in the back.

“So, this is it?” said Etch, as he looked at the rather large beachfront home of Sforza. It had taken them an hour to get there but they were there.

“Yep, this is it” replied Spectrum in the driver’s seat.

“Then, why are we not inside?” asked Etch in an angry tone

“Not allowed in, its women only in there” said Spectrum

“Well my girl is inside there and I want some fucking answers now!” Yelled Etch and he stepped out of the vehicle.

‘Marvel’ at us…and Hugh Jackman!

In celebration of the new ‘Marvel‘ hit movie, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, The Infection feels that it is the perfect time to go through the history of Marvel Comics…Right after we employ the use of Hugh Jackman‘s sex appeal to grab us more hits than Ike give Tina.

Yes...We all know he's sexy
Yes...We all know he's sexy

Now that we’ve shamelessly done that…We’ll begin educating those of you who have managed to tear your eyes away from Jackman.

marvel_logo

Marvel comics is one of the most popular and largest comic book companies in the world. The only other company on this planet that The Infection knows of that is able to challenge them for the title of the greatest comic book company would be DC Comics. Throughout their history Marvel has created some of the world’s most recognizable pop culture icons. Heroes such as Spider-man, The Hulk, Captain America and many others have come from this comic book powerhouse. The Infection is proud to present the history of Marvel Comics.

In the beginning the company wasn’t called ‘Marvel’ as we know it today but it was formed in 1939 as Timely Publications by a publisher named Martin Goodman.  At this point in time comic books were an expanding medium and they were highly popular, new comics were being pumped out like clockwork. Like every fad in the beginning it has it’s explosive stage so there were alot of hit and miss stories out there.  Officially, Goodman held the titles of editor, managing editor and business manager. He set up shop in the big apple, New york city, and that’s how it began.

Timely comic’s first publication, ‘Marvel Comics’ , was released for October 1939. In it contained the first appearances of The Human Torch and the Sub-Mariner. Later on the company would strike gold when they hired the late and great Jack Kirby, who wasn’t so great yet, and they created one of the first patriotically themed superheroes- Captain America. In late 1941, a Stanley Lieber a.k.a Stan Lee was promoted from general office assistant to interim editor of the comics line. Remember those two names- Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, in later years they would become a most formidable writer/artist powerhouse.

In the 50’s we would have the company name change from Timely to Atlas Comics. Atlas comics was the perfect name for the company at the time as it stretched into a variety of genre’s. After WWII, superheroes were somewhat out of style…for the time being. Atlas made a comic out of everything that was popular at the time. They tried and failed to revive some of the old superhero glory from before the war but it just looked like the people weren’t into it anymore.

Finally the 60’s would come along and that’s where things got started again! The first big change is that Marvel comics would become known as we know it today with the name change to Marvel. It all began in the late 1950’s when DC comics managed to successfully revive some of their superheroes so Marvel decided to follow suite. First Stan Lee and Jack Kirby would team up to create the Fantastic Four with the first issue cover dated November 1961. From that point on they were Marvel comics as we know them today.

Marvel had a unique approach for creating superheroes at the time with the concept of creating superheroes for the ‘real world’. Unlike superheroes of the past who were the cookie cutter, handsome/beautiful, all American hero/heroine, they made some changes. These changes were key to their success.

Marvel provided heroes with personality defects. They made superheroes that not only combated the black and white ideals of good and evil but they also combated the issues of the day. Through focusing on characterization they managed to create heroes that people could not only admire but now people could relate to them in a way they could not before.During the 60’s was also when Stan Lee would rise to fame as one of the biggest names in comics.

After the 60’s came the 70’s and the 80’s where they lost some momentum. In 1972, Goodman retired as publisher and Stan lee succeeded him. For a brief moment in time they pulled ahead of DC Comics in 1972 and much like they had done while they were Atlas comics- they diversified in the 70’s. By the mid 70’s they saw a loss in profits but by the end of the decade they were back in business. In 1978 a new editor-in-chief  was hired, Jim Shooter, he took care of alot of the problems that the company was having such as meeting deadlines and he institutionalized creator royalties.

By the mid 80’s Marvel got a bit of a toss around. Having been sold in 1986 to New World Entertainment it was then sold three years later to Mac Andrews and Forbes. During this time Marvel went from being a private to a public company on the NYSE, which saw some good profits for them. By the beginning of the 90’s they were doing well for themselves…until 1996 when the company filed for bankruptcy. After a long list of legal issues and being tossed around, the company landed in the hands of Issac Perlmutter by 1997. Perlmutter along with the help of his business partner Avi Arad, publisher Bill Jemas, and editor-in-chief Bob Harass came and saved the sinking ship. Although some would argue that the ship sunk a long time ago.

In the 2000’s to present day the Marvel we know is still out there and in the biz. Name’s have changed and people have come and go but it’s still the same good old Marvel comics that the people know and love…for the most part. They’ve produced movies, made some cartoons and they’re having a blast doing what they’ve been quite good at for years, keeping the people entertained.

Speaking of Marvel films…here’s a preview of what you’re missing if you don’tgo and see the new X-Men origins: Wolverine movie in theaters!

Entertain us with your thoughts!

Featured Webcomic- Bear Nuts

Before we get into this weeks post The Infection would like to take the time to direct your attention to a very useful website. Here at The Infection we are true believers of freedom of thought and opinion and we believe that one should exercise their rights to such on a regular basis. Thus we would like to direct your attention to The Webcomic list, a site that catalogs some of the Internets most prominent web comics. We want to leave it up to you, the reader, to find your own favorable reading material instead of being force fed whatever we want to read- even if it is really good. So look at the list and enjoy.

Now, for this week’s featured web comic. This week we have the comic ‘Bear Nuts’ by artist Alison Acton. The story chronicles the lives of a very ‘special’ group of bears who live in a zoo.  If the picture below isn’t enough then we’ll put it out to you plainly- imagine the Care Bears gone wrong and you get these bears.

bear-nuts

In terms of artwork, the comic is excellent and that is to be expected as the studio, DooomCat, consists of the husband and wife team art team of Alison Acton and Jim Charalampidis. Both artists are well trained in the arts but you can all look this up on their ‘About‘ page.

The story is well written and the characters are very interesting to watch as each of the bear’s personalities interact with eachother. If you possess a sense of humor then these bears are the bears for you. Beware that if you’re easily offended by…fuck it, this is the internet dammit! If you’re offended then STFU! If you’ve been reading The Infection for this long then you’ve gotta know that you’ve been warned again and again that we’re going to offend someone someday and we dont care who it is.

Anyways, we suggest this as good reading material if you are looking for something cute without the cutesy.

Keep us entertained with your thoughts!