To NintenDO or NintenDON’T

To kick off this month’s festivities here at The Infection, we feel that it’s only right to give you all a briefing on what is the annual E3 expo that has been a fueling factor towards this month’s selected theme.  E3 or the Electronic Entertainment Expo is a yearly convention where all of the computer and video game industry big shots gather to show off their new toys for the upcoming year. To illustrate the importance of this event to gamers all around the world- this is the equivalent of their new year, if the Chinese have Chinese new year then they can have E3.  During the course of this event that lasts three days, every major computer and video game nerd will be raging as the big shots make press releases and talk big about their toys. Here at The Infection we house many of those nerds, thus we’ve decided to talk about our picks from the barrel of this years big announcements beginning with Poison Apple and his picks from the Nintendo roster.

by: Poison Apple

Alright, first and foremost I stopped caring about anything  Nintendo had to offer me after I realized that all the fun and not so kids friendly games like Grand theft auto were never going to be on a Nintendo system.  Alas, Nintendo does still have a few titles that are good for kicks like the Smash Brothers series of games and once in a while they didn’t fail me, like when Resident Evil 4 came on on Gamecube. Sadly, we must cast aside their former glories as it is a new year in the gaming world meaning that they were once again up for judgment and possibility of redemption…

To begin, Nintendo’s press conference featured the three major titles everyone was waiting for from the familiar classic franchises of Mario, Zelda and Metroid.  On top of their returning classic hits they’ve got some new and interesting LOOKING games to boast about but in my experience with Nintendo  and with women I can tell you…looks are deceiving.

Anyways, so in this post of mine I’m going to take you all through my opinions on what Nintendo had to say at their press conference during the E3 event. If you want to see it for yourself then Nintendo has been nice enough to make footage of the conference available to the public via their E3 website. So here goes!

First up, were the big game announcements, including  brand new Mario brothers game. If you’ve never played a video game in your life then you wont know about Mario and his brother Luigi or how they starred in their own game once upon a time. To be honest, I’ve never been a fan of the Mario brothers games and the announcement of a new one doesn’t phase me at all. Now they were saying at the press conference that this new Mario brothers game offered more new and innovative gameplay than before but from what I saw it looked like the same shit with more people now and I’ll admit just a few new gimmicks. All in all, it’s the same old Mario brothers but re-wrapped and given a some new fresh toppings. I personally think that Nintendo could do better…alot better. The game is supposed to be available for the Wii and it’s going to be selling during the x-mas season so if you want it look out for it. Next, we got a brief glimpse of a couple other titles like Metroid: Other M, The Conduit and Super Mario Galaxy 2. All games that I can admit look like they’ll entertain me for a bit.

Second up,  is the new Wii fit or Wii fit plus…now those of you who know what Wii fit  is and enjoy using it then I say kudos to you all but personally I think it sucks. Like shit..if you want to work out then go and join a gym! Yes the gym can be embarrassing and more expensive but at the same time joining a gym is a good way to go and meet people and do things. Being social is very healthy and by creating games like Wii fit you’re not only helping people to stay in fit physically but you’re allowing them to seclude themselves from others and become more mentally unfit because they no longer get to communicate with others as much as before.  If you want to buy it anyways then I say to use it sparingly, like when you’re not able to go out, but try to hit the gym once in a while or go for a jog around the block every now and then instead of retreating to it.

Third up, was a hardware upgrade for the Wii. The Wii Motion Plus is an upgrade for the Nintendo Wiimote that will most likely be overpriced to death. In the press conference they showed a commercial that was supposed to make it look fly as fuck when its just an overpriced upgrade that the hope  nobody important will buy. What it does is enhance the Nintendo Wii wireless remote control experience by increasing the realism in the movements that you preform in games…or something to that desired effect. In all honesty, it looks like shit that wont fly for someone as broke and smart as myself but you can look it at yourself here. Another thing that irks me about this new technology is that Nintendo seems desperate to FORCE people into buying this new product by releasing games that can only be played with the Wii motion plus, like Red Steel 2. So even if I’ve made it quite clear that I don’t want to buy a shitty upgrade for the controller, I still will most likely have to get it. Hopefully a third party company makes one and the price will drop lower than ice age temperatures.

Fourth up, we got a long stream of crappy looking games. All of it was gimmicky and useless crap that they hope nobody important would buy.  Most of the games failed to even pique my interests as I will once again say that looks are decieving and Nintendo is a master of deception.  All in all, Nintendo’s press conference was full of shit and all they did was talk about how well they think they did in the past year along with increasing their user base to people who aren’t gamers, the ‘casual gamer’.

All in all, keep us entertained cause I know that Nintendo sure as hell won’t.

One thought on “To NintenDO or NintenDON’T

  1. I thought the game they showed off at the conference were pretty good but it still didn’t hold up to what Sony and Microsoft showed off at their press conferences. Having two Mario games coming out and a Metroid made by Team Ninja is amazing but the only problem is only New Mario Bros wii and wii sports resort is only coming out this year with the rest of the more awesome stuff next year.Wtf Nintendo?

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