The Infection presents: Poison on P—y!

Disclaimer: We are not liable if you, your children or anyone in the vicinity of you are psychologically harmed by the content presented in this post. We’re not going to bullshit with you, this will offend most people and we’re not sorry but we warned you. We’re going to be talking about sex, there might be pictures and links and all kinds of obscene material in this that you don’t want children or your mother to ever see so lock the doors, log out if you’re at work, say a prayer and read!

At least it's tasteful...
At least it's tasteful...

So a couple months back you all might remember us promising to talk about sex in the most foul and explicit manner possible. So here we are to talk about sex, we’re going to shit storm you (not literally…not even if you are into that kind of thing) with a nice explicit chat about sex. Today we’re going to have Poison talk about the who, what, where, why, when and how of sex according to him and hopefully we’ll get to hear from our other members on this steamy subject. Without further ado, The Infection presents: Poison on P—y!

So for all you virgins and nymphos alike out there reading this post I’ll have you know that this is only my opinions on sex and sexuality and does not represent the views of the entire group. I’m going to keep it simple and somewhat clean by limiting my discussion to only talking about who it’s ok to have sex with, what I find to be acceptable in the bedroom, where I think it’s acceptable to do it, why it’s acceptable to engage in the act, and how we should all approach the subject of sex.

To begin, who you have sex with is your own choice and it should always be that way. Now, sex is a very important thing and I’m not talking about the whole emotional aspect of it because lets face facts people- sex is like pissing to people, we just do it because we can sometimes. Lets be real and I’ll put it out here when I say that the majority of you all will have sex with someone someday and think back on it and say “why did I do that?” but the fact was that at the time it probably felt good. We all do or all will have that one, two ,and for some too many, people we will regret having sex with and my advice to you all is to not put too much emotional baggage on the experience because it can fuck up a greater thing in the process…trust me I know. Otherwise, on a health level sex is great for you and if you can find a casual partner then you’ve cashed in. Did you know that you can burn about 200 calories in an average session of sex? That’s the equivalent of about 15 minutes on a treadmill. The average person only needs approximately 2000 calories a day to function but alot of us eat way more than that in a day but never find a use for all those extra calories that eventually turn into fat. Like holy shit…a few 20 minute quickies during the week can burn about 7’500 calories annually! That’s as much as you consume on 120 km of jogging! Take that all in people, there are more facts here. Anyways, I kind of went off topic here and I’ll go back to the main point which was that I say it’s cool to have sex with anyone you want as long as both parties are consenting and are of legal age…or the gap between them is no more than 2 years…and they should be at least 16 if it’s minors. If you all read and remember what we said back during the romance special then you’ll know that we still advocate the use of protection and we think that both guys and girls should carry condoms because safety is in everyone’s hands and it takes two to tango.

So now that we’ve gotten over the who it’s acceptable to have sex with question we have to ask what exactly is acceptable.  The ‘what’ in sex ranges from the touching of certain areas and certain acts done in bed to the use of devices and whatnot. I’ll throw in another variable when I say that it all also depends on ‘where’ you are doing it.

First of all, what happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom. Many of us, myself included , have been guilty of not keeping their mouth shut to close friends about sexual escapades but alas these friends don’t know everything and what happens there…unless they are there to see (O_o), stays there. What you find to be ok is up to you and your partner(s) and as far as I’m concerned anything goes if I’m not involved and everything is consensual. I do however have to draw the line when I say that there are times where you must have discretion on where something is ok or not. An example for the guys is to have sex with your girlfriend in your car, sounds ok right? Now what if the window’s aren’t tinted, it’s still somewhat bright out, there are loads of people out to see you doing your biz. Most likely people wont bother you about it depending on where you are and some people may be bothered but  the fact is that you should probably wait or find somewhere else if you really want to do it that badly.  There are so many other examples of when its ok to do your thing but the idea is that you don’t or shouldn’t broadcast to the entire world that you’re fucking someone by being seen in the act unless you’re looking to get a public indecency charge, scar someone or you’re being paid to do it professionally. With that I”ve now covered what’s ok and where it’s ok.

Now this might come as a joke to you all but I have to put it out there; why have sex?  Other than the purpose of preserving the human race we also have sex for pleasure. You’re all sensible people so you know why we need to go out and fuck people. Sex is also a great way to get closer to someone because of all the physical interaction mixed in with all the chemicals that we release during sex. A great example is when best friends become really good friends after they’re had sex once but alas, this can backfire and my best bet is to detach the whole act from emotion if you’re planning to live up the single life. Even if you’re not like me and want to be single as long as possible, I think people put too much emphasis on the emotional aspect of sex when it comes to relationships. I think that if people are involved in a relationship then it should be about more than sex, if anything the sex shouldn’t be important other than as a health issue due to the exchange of bodily fluids etc. Remember that a relationship is about how people feel about eachother and that’s whats important. As mentioned before  sex is great for your health in multiple ways ranging from cancer prevention to improving many aspects of your health that are unrelated to your sex life but all in all, you should go out there and have some good enjoyable sex.

Anyways, keep me entertained with your thoughts people, here’s a song for you all!

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