Hey You Wanna Hear Something Funny?


Yo Infection, Script again. Just popping in to give a quick update. I was thinking about maybe writing about that old ass movie you may have heard of? Titanic? You know with Kate Winslet, and Leonardo DiCaprio…

No?

Ah well thats cool, It is a pretty old movie. Not to spoil anything, but the ending, Awesome.

Anyways the movie got me thinking about “Tragic Love Stories” most people have at least one “tragic love story”
So here is mine.

Its January 1992, I had just stepped off a TTC subway train and was making my way up the stairs of the platform into the freezing cold Toronto winter. I drew my coat more tightly around me and prepared to be blasted in the face by a freezing cold gale force wind, when from the corner of my eye I caught sight of a most extraordinary sight.

An old classmate from college, who’s life I had made miserable, by poking fun at her grotesque obesity, and roadkill odour. was walking arm in arm with the most beautiful brunette I had ever seen.

As I stood dumbstruck by the epic hotness of the brunette, she glanced over and took in my rough features, and smiled.

I returned the smile with confidence and gestured for her to come closer.

She shook her brown curls, and gestured for me to come closer.

They say hindsight is 20/20 and had I simply taken a casual glance behind me, I would have noticed that the beautiful brunette was not beckoning me, but her boyfriend who was standing not a foot behind me.

I made my way over, and just before I could say a casual “hello” the brunette squealed

“Smith!!!” and lept into her beloved’s arms. Leaving me to deal with her fat friend.

“Script?” the fat one asked upon seeing me her eyes going wide

I winced “hello” I said painfully

“its good that I see you” she said slowly her breath stinking of onions and fish “there has been something I’ve wanted to give you for a long while now”

I ground my teeth together and asked “what would that be?” her body odour making my eyes water.

she raised her chunky 60 pound arm and slapped me, clean across my face. maybe I deserved that. The impact grounded me and I collapsed onto the floor momentarily, the impact had me seeing stars.

Quickly I righted myself. And walked away.

A moment later I found myself walking out of union station, my cheek still burning, my jaw still bruised. As I was making my way over to the precinct, A voice like wind chimes, called out to me.

In spite of myself I turned around, only to see the brunette from the station weaving in and out of the commuter traffic.

I turned to look behind me.

“hey!” she called merrily  “are you alright? it looked like she slapped you pretty hard!”

“Yes I’m fine, thank you”

I kept walking, and she followed

“I saw you in the station, while me and Mona were waiting on Smith” she laughed “I was kinda hoping I could use you to get away from them, but that didn’t work out…”

oh yeah the fat bitch’s name was Mona, I smirked in spite of myself I had gotten used to calling her Lardy McSmellslikeass, all through college.

“did you really call her Lardy everyday of college?”

I smirked again “Yeah I did not very gentlemanly of me.”

She smiled “still, she’s obese and smells like old potatoes… god my brother why did he have to fall for her honestly…”

“Oh so that was your brother back there?”

“mmhm mmhm” she nodded merrily

I scrunched up my eyebrows not really believing my luck

“whats your name?” I asked

“Oh!” she said “its Sara!” she held out her hand “and your’s?”

“Johnny Script” I said taking her hand and shaking “but just call me Script, everyone else does”

She nodded and smirked “its nice to meet you Johnny”

I nodded and winked “Listen, Sara, you seem really cool, could I possibly buy you dinner? Maybe friday night?”

she beamed at me “Well Johnny, as lovely as that sounds, I have a boyfriend at the moment and I don’t think that would be appropriate”

Yep my luck. SUCKED.

I smirked boyfriend or not she was still pretty awesome.

“That’s unfortunate” I said solemnly “Who ever he is he is a very lucky man”

Sara beamed even more brightly.

“okay” I said “if you have a boyfriend and you managed to get away from your brother and his girl why did you follow me ot of the station?”

“I didn’t!” she smiled again “this is the route I take to work, weird huh? I just saw you and honestly I felt a little bad so I just decided to say hey!”

“Oh…so what do you do, where do you work?” I asked slightly confused

“Ha! I’m a fresh out of school police phycologist, I just got a job at 99 division”

She stopped right in front of my precinct  “Yep this is me! Its been great talking to you Johnny”

I tried to hide my smirk and hung back “Yeah its been great good luck in your new job”

She walked up the steps and into the building and vanished behind the mirrored glass. I smirked to myself and bought a hot dog from the vendor I wolfed it down quickly and walked through the same door Sara had just vanished behind.

I walked into the familiar sight and there was Sara, getting hassled by Frank the security guard.

“Mornin Detective” Frank said

“Morning Frank” I said smirking and flashing my badge

Sara turned around and looked up at me her expression was priceless

“You meet, the new shrink yet?” Frank said

Good ol’ Frank

“No” I said holding out my hand smirking like the devil “Detective John Script” I said to her

Sara took my hand the same unsuspecting half smirk on her face ” Doctor Sara Green” she said shaking “nice to meet you”

___________________________________________________________________________________________

OK so thats Part one of my “tragic love story” enjoy…!

Stay Entertained people

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