It’s not even Eleven AM, and I’m already drunk


Time to hit up a controversial topic. how about… Alcoholism?

Yeah that’ll work

For those of you who do not know what Alcoholism is please allow me to give a very brief explanation.
Alcoholism was invented shortly after the discovery of alcohol in 1928. Alcohol at the time was praised as a universal cure for being fat and being ugly.  Yes now fat and ugly people could enjoy the luxury of being less ugly and not so fat, yes it was a miracle. Sadly at the turn of the decade the Great Depression quickly turned the once heralded “Miracle Cure” into a vehicle of pain despair and destruction.

You see at the time of its discovery alcohol’s main side effect: Inebriation wasn’t well understood. At the time it was believed to have been a state of euphoria brought on by the main effect of alcohol; A cure for ugly.

All over the world people began drinking alcohol in excess, turning normal people into wonderful beautiful versions of themselves. Inebriation’s effect however was short lived; many a man or woman would find themselves rudely awoken on a Tuesday morning late for work and lying next to them would be a horrible fat hairy beast. This trend quickly spawned a new trend where the waking person would quickly being drinking more alcohol to forget the prior nights escapades.

With everyone drinking and no one working, the economy crashed leaving millions of  people, without alcohol, Protesters ran through the streets preaching sobriety’s faults and burning government buildings.

Written history takes a hiatus for the next 60 years as all historic records were purged during the Great Alcohol Hunt of 1942, where the entire world was plunged into warfare over which country would have access to the last brewery in france.

1945 the Church of Alcohol was founded, and brewed free alcohol for everyone to enjoy as they preached the teachings of Heineken and Bud Light the two founders of the Church, Which is why today The Church of Alcohol stands as the most powerful influencing non governmental body in the world today.

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