Caribana 2011 Pre-Show Address

So we’re finally at the second major event in the 2011 A-Soul event calendar. Welcome all.
This weekend I had the choice of going to Montreal and the Oshiega Music festival to meet a slew of hip-hop celebrities or staying in my lovely home city of Toronto for Caribana. In all honesty, I wanted to go to Montreal only because I’ve never been there but sadly I had to settle for Caribana since I don’t have the funds to go to Montreal.  To my friends in Montreal- I hope you appreciate the T-shirts I designed for you and you better come back with more than hangovers and STI’s.

Otherwise, I expect more of the same as every year for Caribana this year. The only thing that’s changed is the name which is the ‘Scotiabank Toronto Caribbean festival’ but nobody in their right mind is going to call it that. Caribana will always be Caribana no matter what you do.  Anyways, to get to the point of this address to you all, we, A-Soul Entertainment, are going to be down there getting pictures and hopefully videos of the event for you all this year. We’re going to get everything from the food all the way down to the parade on lakeshore road there for you to see. Trust us; we have this one in the bag.

Aside from us being at the parade this address is to inform the caribana virgins of the basic things they are going to need in a lovely checklist form. Remember, if you’re unsure of any of the items I mention on this list then be sure that you need not attend since I know you are not mature enough to be there.

  • Water: You will need lots of this shit because it’s always fucking hot down there. First of all, buying water down there is a rip off. Second of all, it’s not hot because of the humidity but it’s because of all the bloody people who are there and packed together for hours jumping and moving. You’ll get dehydrated quickly and you’ll need refreshment. Most likely you will end up buying water anyways but it’s best to at least make an attempt to bring your own damn drinks.
  • Towel: You’re going to sweat like a pig and it’s not nice to be sweaty. Out there with all the fabulous looking people and you’re the one covered in sweat stains…That’s nasty.
  • Flag: Yeah, Caribana might be a festival about Caribbean pride but even if you aren’t then you can bring your flag anyways. It’s everyone’s festival but if you don’t want to feel out of place then you can pick up a Jamaican flag even if you’re not Jamaican. Everybody at least has one Jamaican friend who will attest to the fact that you’re bona fide Jamaican. Why do you need the flag? Because there will always be a song where the deejay will ask you to ‘wave your flag in the air’ and you don’t want to be the retard without a flag in the crowd.
  • Nice walking shoes: Yes I put emphasis on the ‘Nice’ part. You don’t go out to Caribana wearing shitty shoes. No you fucking don’t. Caribbean people are not cheap…at least they don’t want others think they are cheap. Thus they frown upon those who are not well dressed. If you come out with some dirty ass old ass sneakers don’t think that nobody will notice even if you are in a crowd. Someone will point out that your kicks should be kicked to the curb and you don’t want to be embarrassed.
  • Cell phone: C’mon…If you don’t have one then get one.
  • Bus fare: That’s pretty basic
  • Identification: You might wanna get a lil bit tipsy for this one so bring your id
  • A friend: Never ride alone. Lionel Heart once told me this and I know I’ve heard it many times before from others and a few too many rappers but it’s true.  Especially for this event, you should NEVER GO ALONE TO CARIBANA. Not only do you look like a loser but it’s really unsafe. Caribana has a bit of a sad history of violent events happening during the parade or usually at a related after party and it’s best if you go with and leave with at least one friend. It’s alright to arrange to meet up with friends at the event but unless you know your way around and you know a lot of people there, don’t go alone. There’s safety in numbers and this event can get a little crazy so it’s best to have a friend to keep your 6 clear.

Anyways people, sadly since I have to hit the sack early tonight we don’t have drawing for you but come back on Monday and I’ll have something for y’all. Otherwise…

Keep us entertained!

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