Get it guys?! ‘March’ on to the beat because the month is March and the theme for this month is music! Yeah yeah…I know the pun was bad but fuck it if I care, it feels good to be back on the show floor again with you all. It’s time for yet another year of broken promises and dreams as well as possible ruptured organs here at Artist soul entertainment. I’m Poison Apple, founder and leader of this intelligent bunch. You can also refer to us as your future rulers or the new world order.
So aside from finally being back in the swing of things I know that most of you who do watch us still are probably looking and thinking to yourselves that we are done. I have some thrilling news for you all concenring that… Fuck you. We’re far from finished, hell we’re far from even getting started. We’ve barely whipped our cocks out for you cunts as yet. Fuck, we’re still waiting for our complimentary blowjobs here! Those of you who are faithful to us and still occasionally check out what it is that we’re doing will recieve flavoured oils that you can then carefully rub on my cock before you all suck it. The rest of you faithless worms can bend over and recieve your sodomizing from my ten foot pole covered in a sandpaper condom of my own personal design.
If you’re new to A-Soul then know that us being offensive and abrasive isn’t simply us being vulgar in the name of trying to intice shock value. We’re being extremely vulgar because we love all those of you who watch what we do and we dont want to confuse you by giving the wrong idea. We’re honest to the point where I wont be surprised if the CIA or some other government agency outside of Canada decides that we need to go and we’re all killed in ‘unfortunate accidents’.
Now, enough of the useless banter. More about the theme for this month. We’re going to talk about music. All the sounds and rhythms that go with it. Each of our lovely members will have something ready for you to feast your minds on this month with the common unified theme of music. If we do happen to run into something interesting that requires our complete attention we will alert you to it but be sure that outside of music we dont expect much to happen this month.Anyways, here’s the rundown of the month for you all…
Week 1 (March 9,10,11)
March 9- Poison- Do da stanky leg! and other Dance moves that just should have moved the fuck out
March 10- Solstice- Dubstep to it or DubSTOP THIS SHIT NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!
March 11- Lionel- The Life and times of Whitney Houston…why do I care?
Week 2 (March 16,17,18)
March 16- Cronus- When videogame music went mainstream
March 17- Poison- When everyone wants to be a rapper but sounds like shit…
March 18- Lionel- The top 10 worst musicians of the last 10 years
Week 3 (March 23,24,25)
March 23- Poison- One hit wonders we all forgot about.
March 24- Solstice- When the video does kill the damn song.
March 25- Cronus/Lionel- The music of Final Fantasy
Week 4 (March 30,31)
All members – Distant Worlds Concert special joint post-
Anyways people! Keep us entertained and here’s the song for this month!