That special time in my life- My 20’s


Alright people, so I read this article recently on my Facebook feed and there were some points that stuck out to me. Therefore I suggest you give it a quick read since I did find it mildly entertaining.

Now that you have read it you realize that there are some points where the article becomes a load of shit. This is something I knew while reading the article and I usually skipped over the stuff that I thought was complete and utter bullshit but I would not share this article with you if I did not see the merit in some of the points made throughout the article. Therefore, I am going to deconstruct this article piece by piece and sort out what I believe to be bullshit from the truthful points of the article.

Of course, we need to have the obligatory  picture of a handsome man or something of the like for people to think ‘oh my god, he’s a sexy 20-something year old man’

Doesn't get sexier than thisNow that we’ve taken care of the sex appeal in this post we can move on to more important matters. In the article we’re discussing the author outlines 20 mistakes that many people make in their 20’s. One thing I will say is that it is obvious from the get go that the article is very male centered or lacking gender neutrality thanks to the accompanying imagery.  Now, lets get to talking about the content of  damn article already.

coming in at #20… Working for money, not for building your dreams.
So, the main point they try to make with this piece of advice is that you shouldn’t spend all of your youth just trying to make money but you should try to work to something bigger for yourself.

They say

“Never do anything just because it’s convenient for you” 

but the harsh reality of life is that can’t happen. We don’t live in a world of sugar and rainbows where we can all sit around and wait for that dream job to happen. People have bills to pay goddammit! The truth is, convenience is good and if you can make that shitty part time job work for you while you inch your way into a career that you actually want then go for it. But while you’re out chasing your dream you have to be realistic and realize that when you’re in your 20’s the world says that you are an adult and you have responsibilities. Responsibilities that cost LOTS OF MONEY THAT YOU DONT HAVE UNLESS YOU ARE A RICH SONOFABITCH SUCKING ON THE TIT OF YOUR TRUST FUND. You also are fresh out of school with loans or whatever to pay back…Trust me, you’re going to spend lots of time working for money in your 20’s but if you have a greater goal then while you work for money just don’t neglect the greater purpose that you have dedicated yourself to.

coming in at #19… Thinking that this is the right time to fall in love


I will never be forgiven for that. Oh well. But yes, what is love? To me, for the purposes of this article, its nothing more than a  natural chemical reaction that can be triggered in individuals given the right stimulus. I personally believe that given the right conditions it is possible for any two people to be able to fall in love with each other. That being said I can’t say that as a mentally and physically healthy person that it’s unnatural to fall in love at any point in your life. The issue here is not falling in love in your 20’s that is wrong but being foolish about it is. Dont run off and marry your weekend fling in Las Vegas and expect to have a nice long term relationship. The idea is to take it nice and slow no matter what age you are.

They say

‘While all of your friends might be doing it, don’t fall into the trap of getting into a relationship. Sure it seems like the right thing to do, but your 20s are entirely too crucial for your personal growth for you to be focusing on fulfilling the wishes of another individual.’   

This makes sense in some parts to me but it falls over on itself. I understand that your 20’s are a busy time in your life and usually we are more focused on getting a grasp on things in our lives. I agree that it is a crucial time for personal growth BUT this also includes dealing with and fostering relationships. Personal growth not only includes learning how to take care of ourselves and things in our own lives but as adults we need to know how to deal with other people well and compromise with others. It’s better that we get these things out of the way early on in life than later. I know more than enough socially awkward people to tell you that there are some experiences that are better taken care of in the teens and the same goes for the 20’s and so on. Admittedly, relationships in your 20’s can be messy given the busy lives most of us have at that age but it’s not like it gets easier after this. The upside of relationships in the 20’s is that they’re alot less messy than teenage romances… Most of the time.

Coming in at #18… Trying to act like the man rather than learning how to become one

This is one of the points that they make where I actually fully agree with what they’re saying. You have goals, ambitions, dreams and there are some people who think that when they get a small piece of the pie they are automatically going to get the rest of it when the truth is that they’ve only had a taste due to the good charity of others. Mind you, don’t forget to celebrate your small achievements but do try to remember to keep yourself well grounded when you do it or have someone there to remind you of why you still are not ‘all that and a bag of chips’.

Coming in at #17…  Making friends instead of earning trust

They say…

“Make connections with people based on trial and error, not presuppositions and drunk ranting about what they can do for your business. If you ever want people to take you seriously, then you have to take them seriously.”

Basically put, what I think they’re trying to say here is that business and friendship should not mix. When it comes to your career and aspirations then you need to be objective in your decision making. That being said, making a proper deal and talking about business when you’re drunk/in a bar or club is not a good idea. The basic lesson here is that there is a time and place for everything and you need to know where and when that is. If you do this well then people will take you seriously and it’s already hard enough for people to take you seriously because you are young so any edge you can get is a good one.

Coming in at #16… Not caring because you only live once — that is for fools

Those people really don’t know what the meaning of  ‘you only live once’ is if they think it gives them a free pass to be a jackass. Yes, you only live once and you know what? THATS ALL THE MORE REASON TO CARE BECAUSE IF YOU FUCK IT UP THEN YOU CANT REDO IT! Today is a gift, that is why it is called the present and you know what? Tomorrow will be another present if I make it there and I really like presents! I’m greedy! This is one of those points in the article I can agree with.

Coming in at #15… Making all your wants, needs

Dont be a child, grow up, know the difference between a want and a need. It’s very simple when you think about it but there are some people that make it to their 20’s and lack the ability to think critically about the difference between a want and a need. Still, the article is aimed at a less sensible demographic than those of you who read this blog so the point is made in a different way.

” Setting the foundation for your business and team is far more important than updating your wardrobe and chasing sex. Distinguish between what you want and what you actually need”

Coming in at #14… Forgetting that family comes first

Ok, I am somewhat guilty of this but this is yet another point in the article where I can give it positive review. I know a lot of people who are my age who spend a great majority of time away from their families and don’t make the time for them. I’ve been guilty of that on many an occasion but thankfully I have a brother to pull me back into the fold and remind me that there are people who I should see occasionally. Still, this is advice that shouldn’t be here only because it’s something that we should acknowledge no matter what age we are. Be it 10, 20 or 60 years old you should remember that family comes first.

Coming in at #13… Blaming anyone else but yourself for anything in life

Now we get to a point where I WANT to agree with them but I know that truthfully I cannot agree with them. There are some things in this life that we cannot simply blame ourselves for or else we’re going to be an emotional train wreck for people to walk all over. Sometimes someone needs to hang and it’s not you. Don’t be afraid to call people out on their shit and if necessary slap the shit out of them. As long as you know you’re doing your job then so be it but you can’t hold the weight of the world on your shoulders. They say…

“Hold yourself accountable for everything. At the end of the day, all you have in the world is yourself — so go hard. Don’t look to anyone for answers and instead of making problems, create solutions. Whether it was that job you wanted, the funding you needed or the love you think you can’t live without, there is no one that can be held accountable in this universe except for you.”

The truth is that you dont live in the world by yourself and if you act like you do then you will be quickly reminded that you’re actually sharing this space with 7 billion other people. Of these 7 billion people you will not have all the answers you need for yourself, you will not have all the solutions and you cannot be held accountable for everything.

Coming in at #12…  Getting comfortable like you actually deserve down time

“Unless you’re fornicating with Victoria’s Secret models in Monaco this weekend, you shouldn’t even be thinking about taking a break any time soon. You need a vacation? What have you accomplished? Mark Cuban spent 7 years building out his first business before he even took a break. Don’t get lazy now.”

Even if you are fornicating with Victoria Secret models in Monaco this weekend the truth is that the majority of us wont have the time to sit down for that long. It all depends on what you want to do and where you are in life. If you have a goal to work towards then you should be working, but if not then take all the time you need. The main idea here is that you need to stay focused and have a good balance between work and play.

Coming in at #11… Sticking with jobs that didn’t teach you anything

On my resume I have written down ‘to cultivate profitable work skills’ as one of the reasons I am interested in working at a particular place. I see the value in taking a job that will make you a more desirable employee to others but you also must consider money and financial woes as a deciding factor. The one thing I can say that this article does is feed a sense of entitlement that our generation has by telling us to quit work and do whatever the fuck we want because all of our dreams will come true. Yeah…It doesn’t work that way. They say…

“A bad job is like a bitchy girlfriend that gives bad head. Truthfully, the only reason you’re there is because it is the safest and easiest thing you know. Any job or relationship that allows for you to get comfortable should be avoided at all costs.” 

I am personally a fan of safe and easy work. If you stay focused on what it is that you want to do in life then you don’t need a complicated job to take up necessary time that can be spent thinking of grander issues in your own life.

Coming in at #10… Following the crowd instead of forging against it

Truthfully, this point makes sense to me. Mind you, there is nothing wrong with trying to blend in but use your own judgment when deciding what trend to get into. Personally, as far as trends go I say that you should try to keep it very simple. Jeans and a T-shirt will never go out of style along with a simple pair of sneakers. They say…

“You can be aware of the trends, but never follow them. If all your time is spent trying to adjust to your surroundings, you’ll get lost in the crowd all the more easily. Success and greatness are constructed by trendsetters themselves, not those who latched on to what’s currently trending. We hope that you don’t have any aspirations to look like your favorite rapper. Temptation to be influenced by those who you aspire to be like is easy, but no one finds their calling following in the footsteps of another.”

The only thing I can disagree with here is that ‘no one finds their calling following in the footsteps of another’ but the truth is that no matter what you do you’ll probably be following someone else’s footsteps. If you’re trying to do something similar to a person you idolize then it’s not a bad idea to look to the examples set by them and others like them. If its worked for alot of people then the methods by which they achieve the goal must be the correct one to follow.

Coming in at #9… Failing to energize those around you

There’s nothing wrong with being a positive person to be around but you don’t have to be a bloody cheerleader. It’s up to people to keep themselves up and going and you don’t have the time to be picking up every person who lacks self motivation or drive. I say lead by example and those who follow are the ones you want with you. This is what they have to say about energizing those around you.

“Although you may sometimes think there is a lack of talent in your networks — this is never the case. It is your sole responsibility to inspire, encourage and drive those around you to success.” 

Coming in at #8… Think you need to stop learning and growing

I agree with this statement, which is what im finding to be true about many of the things they have said in this article. What I dont agree with is their definition of greatness which according to them is

” more zeros at the end of your bank statement, stamps in your passport and women in your bed than you had ever imagined. Don’t consider this your victory lap, but rather as a taste of greatness.”  

I find their definition of greatness to be greatly lacking. What really bothers me about it is the part about ‘women in your bed’ being an indicator of your success. Does that mean that you are more successful if you manage to have multiple mates in your bed? No, it doesn’t actually, because the truth of the matter is that it has nothing to do with your success in life and more to do with how attractive you are.  Moving back to the statement, you should always try to learn something new not just to keep yourself being successful but to also keep yourself sharp in life at any point. This piece of advice applies to all of us at any age.

Coming in at #7… Thinking that anyone will ever pay you back

I think this is just a poor excuse for a lack of common sense. Dont make loans you can’t afford to lose and dont make loans to people you can’t trust to at least attempt to pay you back in some way.

Coming in at #6… Spending your money on women who aren’t escorts

This is the one piece of ‘advice’ that shocked me. Everything else was agreeable on some level where it wasn’t hard to see black and white of it but this one sent me a curve ball. Here’s what they have to say…

“Your sex life is an investment — and the smarter the deals you execute, the savvier of an investor you become. Free sex is the most expensive sex in the world. Instead of navigating through an ambiguous investment in which you shower your woman with cash and prizes for the mediocre sex provided, deal with a professional as soon as possible.”

Now you wonder, where in the hell do I actually agree with this? So lets break it down starting off with ‘your sex life is an investment- and the smarter the deals you execute, the savvier of an investor you become’. I agree with that view. I personally see the pursuit of a mate as an investment of time and time is important to me.  It takes time to comb through the potential choices of a mate, be they escort or hundreds of people you meet walking the streets. As a person who really wants success you don’t want to waste time looking for a mate thus why I can see the merit in having an escort on payroll but that only works if you’re looking for sex and honestly an escort is a poor investment. Let me show you how.

Say you make $20 an hour and the escort costs you $60 for 30 mins of their time dependent on the services you request. Trust me, I have friends who have done the work and they have told me what it costs. That means that you spent 3 hours working for JUST sex that wont last that long with a person who has no real obligation to please you whatsoever.

Meanwhile…

Lets take that $20 an hour you make and say you find someone who you can find and foster a healthy relationship with. Now, you wont get the instant gratification that an escort would give you and so over the course of a few weeks to months you go through whatever courtship rituals you need to in order to get them to sleep with you. I can guarantee that in the end that investment will pay off much more because if you have a healthy relationship going on then you not only have an exclusive mate but you have something better- a partner to help you achieve your goals. Not only that but unlike the escort, this person is willing to and probably already has spent money on you which would balance out your expenses if that is a concern. Finally, in a healthy relationship you will find that your partner is looking to please you both physically and emotionally without excess charge.

As for the ‘mediocre sex’ bit they mention…I can tell you that escort, prostitute, whore, porn star, nympho or whatever are all just titles for show that tell you nothing about if they are actually any good in the sack.

Coming in at #5… Holding on to friends that waste your time and add no value to your life

“You’ll be sucked down into the abyss right with them if you don’t cut the fat of the group. Family and friends could have been great to you as a child, but if they no longer hold the value and inspiration that is needed for you to thrive in life, then cut them loose. The only individuals you should be surrounding yourself with are those that challenge your ideas and motivate you to find the next solution to your problems. No, not the pessimistic assholes who shoot down your ideas with their negativity, but rather the ones who genuinely want to see you succeed no matter what you do in life.” 

First, ask yourself seriously if the people you surround yourself with are actually pessimistic assholes or are they keeping you grounded with the reality of your endeavors. I know for a fact that I like to dream big and I make sure to surround myself with people who will shoot me down for good reasons. It tests you, it tests your ability to problem solve and when your plan is solid then these ‘pessimistic assholes’ wont have a retort for you and your plans. Also, if these people are really holding you back from being the best you can be then you need to ask yourself if they really are your friends. Finally, is it your own weakness that causes you to blame others for your lack of success or is it others getting in your way- ask yourself these things before you go cutting off every person that tells you ‘no’.

Coming in at #4… Forgetting about the piggy bank and spending every dollar you have

Roll back up to points #16 and #15 for my thoughts on this one.

Coming in at #3… Mistaking safe sex for anything besides anal

Common sense kids. If you don’t know what safe sex really is then please just don’t have sex at all. Don’t. Please.

coming in at #2… Dating unstable women with mommy and daddy issues

This piece of advice comes from a straight up asshole. If you’re going to date someone then you don’t try to ‘fix’ them you deal with them for the good and the bad. If you’re not mature enough to understand this then I dont think you should be dating anyone at all. In order to be in a relationship it takes communication and if you lack the ability to listen a little bit as well as talk then fuck it a prostitute would probably be the best thing for you.

Finally, at the #1 spot… Forgetting that karma is a huge b*tch

Regardless of Karma or not, if you’re an asshole to people then you can expect to spend the rest of your days wondering when someone will come and shank you out of nowhere.  Forget karma, people are so much worse when they feel that they have been wronged. Sure, you sometimes may step on some toes here and there but people are very quick to remind you that they wont take shit from you.

 

Anyways people, keep us entertained!

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About Poison Apple

An all around artist and entertainer focused on the visual arts.

Posted on May 29, 2013, in for shits and giggles, Philosophy, Sex and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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